I wanted to wrestle in college but I chose to play football because well someone put it to me like this "Here is $100,000 to play football and here is $20,000 to wrestle, I just paid off my student Loans and I am 45"!
That's all it took for me to sign on the line and so I went off to college to play a sport a really had played for a like a year total in the Three I was on the football team Hell the first year I was a cheerleader!
So stage set for the first part of a long down fall in my life that you can see on facebook in pictures although you see smiles to start i can tell you they all end bad in some way shape or form.
My freshman year of college my moms best friends daughter comes to a football games and ends up getting raped by my suite mates cousin. My roommates Dad becomes a Multi millionaire in the IT boom of 2001 just to find out he has cancer and will die less than 3 years later, so that guy goes off the deep end along with falling in live and never wearing socks, but because I am such a softy at this point I let that ass walk all over me.
I meet the Quarterback Shaun Hill (Plays in the Pros now) he says " I don’t trust a man that don’t Drink" and so I get drunk and wow I must have really done something right because he becomes like my savior on the team for that year. Still I am filled with Rage I was told college was the place you can find your self and come to grips with who you are! Bulls hit, I was Getting pushed back further into that Closet as ever before. I was playing football with guys on the defensive side of the ball who made fun of the way I walked, talked, dressed and wore my glasses. Shaun got me to come in to lift with him on those days we could pick so I could sing country.
I wanted something more from school and life so after a good first semester to took off the second and when i say took off i mean got drunk every night and to keep up the image of being a football player i started to sleep around with more girls. I had tall ones fat ones and ones you might not want to know about. Every kind of girl that ou could think of. My total during freshman year was 60 women and till that point no men! Figured I was going to be just fine if I could just got drunk and "f**k Bi*ches" as a friend Randy would say!
Soon that was good enough and i started to get a little reckless when going out i would fight when i was drunk and fight when i was sober. People couldn’t tell the true me from the one i was creating for my self. I was starting to become someone i didn’t even like to be around, yet the cast had been set and i was playing my role all over again. I was cursing out coaches and fighting players on the team matter of fact the Ralph Fridgen once pulled me into his office to tell me that sometimes the coaching staff would just watch my fights because they at least had passion. Truth be told I was going to Fight no matter i was on the field or not but that’s when they gave me name Psycho 60! I felt like I was in high school all over again. People wanted to party with me they never wanted to get the time to get to know me and the ones who did well they weren’t football players. I felt trapped in a world where even though I wanted to break free I was trapped. It wasn’t getting better!
Your told that in college you can explore who you want to be find out what life path you may want to take and go with it. I felt trapped like something was pulling on me and I couldn’t get out. I had not a soul to tell and my mind became one big block of concrete. No friends because I was to different again and no one to love because I was scared of everything around me I again played my part, pushed things down and keep moving.